It started out as love
by xHedwig13x
Summary: He knew it was wrong, he knew he should stop, but he couldn’t. He was so damn obsessed with her. He loved her, so did he hurt her like this? Mabye if he stopped, he could have a real relationship with her, but who was he kidding?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

He knew it was wrong, he knew he should stop, but he couldn't. He was so damn obsessed with her. He loved her, so did he hurt her like this? He wished he could just turn back time, and take back what he did, and maybe he would have a chance at a real relationship with her, but who was he kidding? He was Pureblood, and she was dirt. Why was is that she was the one to capture his supposed black heart? Why did he ruin their relationship think this? As he thought of that night he thought of many times, a sick feeling settled in his stomach while he reminisced.

Draco Malfoy was sitting in the Great Hall eating his breakfast, and looking off into the distance, obviously thinking. There was a sudden noise from the entrance, and as he looked over, he saw Hermione Granger in the arms of her boyfriend Ron Weasley. He was tickling her, and she was laughing, explaining the noise. As the laughing continued, Draco Malfoy couldn't help but keep looking at her.

He noticed now, that her clothes have started to reveal more skin, probably to entice the Weasel, and once noticing that, he couldn't help but stare at her newly found body. Without even noticing, he had been staring at her until finally, she left the Great hall for her first class. As he turned away from the Mudblood, he noticed Pansy Parkinson staring at him across the table. "What were you looking at for so long?" she inquired. "I don't need to explain myself to you Parkinson! Don't you dare speak to me like that again!" he screamed at her. She quickly got up from the table, with a shocked look on her face.

He didn't know why he was so defensive towards her, but something told him that he wouldn't want his fellow Slytherins to know he was staring at Granger, no matter how sexy she was now, she was still beneath himself. That night, in his four poster bed, he found himself thinking about her halo of hair, or her golden brown eyes. Wait, since when did he know the colour of her eyes? Since when did he think of her hair as a halo instead of the rats nest it looked like. He suddenly realized what was happening to him, he was falling for the Mudblood. She was smart, almost as smart as him, and she was defiantly beautiful, but who was he kidding, nothing could ever happen between them, she was filth. But still, he couldn't stop thinking of the possibilities of her and him together in his bed.

The next day in the Great Hall while he was eating his Lunch, and absentmindedly staring as Granger again. He knew it wasn't good to feed his fantasies, but he couldn't help himself. As he was watching, Ron Weasley put his arm around her shoulder, and suddenly, he got an overwhelming urge to chop off that very hand. He was surprised at the way his thoughts had turned. He got up, and bolted out of the Great Hall. He ran to him common room and bolted to his bed were he lay down and tried to clear all the fantasies from him mind. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't remove his thoughts for long.

This behaviour continued for two more weeks, and everyday, he left the Great Hall with the same thoughts he tried to desperately to rid himself of. He tried everything to cure himself, including sleeping with many Slytherin girls, but nothing couldn't rid or dilute what he felt every time he saw her. He spent countless hours in the shadows watching her from a distance, trying to work up the courage to talk to her, to tell her how he felt, but every time, he shot down the idea with the fact that he was superior to her. There must be something he could do. He couldn't stop this overwhelming lust he felt for her. No matter how many girls he laid, no matter now many times he insulted her, to her face, and in his mind, he couldn't stop the path his thoughts would eventually take.

Finally, Draco saw only one path he could take to cease his urges. Everyday at midnight, Granger comes from the library and walks down a secluded hallway to the Gryffindor tower. There he would be waiting, when everyone was asleep. That night, he was waiting in the hallway, 5 minutes before midnight, right in the middle of the hallway were she couldn't duck around him. About 5 minutes later, Hermione walked down the hallway, and stared blankly at Draco. "What are you doing here Malfoy?" Draco tried to think of what to say next, and finally settled with ."I need to tell you something" "Well, you can tell me later, I'm tired, and I want to go to bed" Hermione said as she turned to walk away. She couldn't walk away from him! Not Now! "NO! Don't go, you can't go!" Hermione turned around, "Well, I think you'll find that I can go, and I will, Goodnight Malfoy".

Draco was so angry, that he grabbed her roughly by the shoulder, and pulled her back. Hermione had a confused look on her face that quickly turned to anger. She started to wiggle away. After a few minutes, she tired herself out.

"What in God's name do you think your doing? Let me go!"

She tried once again to wiggle free, but Draco was to strong. He knew he shouldn't, by the look on her face as it turned anger to terror, which left Draco with only one option. He roughly kissed her on the mouth, throwing his arms around her shoulder so she couldn't get away. She was shoving him, but she could never break free. The kiss lasted a while, and when they broke apart Hermione's face was horrified.

"Bloody hell, what in Merlin's name was that?", but at the moment Draco couldn't stop himself because of the raging hormones pounding inside of him from the kiss.

He threw her against the wall, hitting her head as she fell onto the floor, unconscious. He took this opportunity to case a silencing charm on her, and to put traps at each end of the hall to make sure no one came down this way. He stopped to think of what he was doing, then quickly tied her up. As Hermione came around, her face filled with new terror as she noticed she was bound.

"Granger, I think I've fallen for you, and since there's no chance of a relationship, I guess this is the only way, I'm sorry for this"

Draco advanced on her, and as Hermione tried to scream, no sound escaped.

"No one can hear you scream Mudblood, I have you all to myself"

Draco said as he lowered himself onto her. Hermione's nails scratched Draco's back, leaving jagged cuts, but he didn't notice, because his fantasies were finally being fulfilled. Her face was full of agony, trying so desperately to escape. This was better than Draco could ever imagine, her body was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

An hour later, Draco was putting back on his robes, watching Hermione cry soundlessly. "Wasn't that enjoyable? Was it your first, or did the Weasel get to you first?"

Hermione nodded. "You know, if you tell anyone about this Granger, I will hurt you beyond what I did to you today" Draco said as he removed the silencing charm. Now he could hear her crying. "Why would you do that to me? No one ever has, you are disgusting!" She said as she lunged at him. Draco quickly shot a spell at her, sending her into the wall. "Don't try anything" Draco said, as he swept down the hall leaving her broken body lying in the middle of the hall.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

After making sure he was gone Hermione quickly picked up her clothes, put them on, and ran to her common room. As the portrait swung open Ron, Harry, and Ginny got up and walked over to her. "Were were you Hermione? You're an hour late, we were starting to get worried" Ron said as he kissed Hermione on the cheek. Hermione flinched and stepped away from him. "What's wrong?' Ron inquired. "N-n-n-othing hon, just a bit jumpy". Hermione darted up to her bed, and started to cry.

This behaviour continued everyday at the same time for 2 months, and every time, it left Draco feeling worse, but he couldn't get himself to stop himself. With every meeting, it left Hermione more bruised and battered. People began to notice bruises on her face, or cuts on her arms, but she just told them she had fallen, then ran up to her dormitory to cry, wishing she had the courage to tell someone.

One night, after a meeting with Draco, she came into the common room, were her friends were waiting. She walked over to them, "Hello guys, how are you?". Ron, Harry, and Ginny looked at her funny, "Hermione, where did you get those bruises? Why is some of your hair missing? Why are you bleeding?" Ron asked with a confused look on his face. She just told them again, that she had fallen, then darted to her room where she went to the mirror to look at herself. There were 5 cuts, and she had a black eye, and a chunk of her hair was missing. She collapsed on her bed, and cried. Once opening her eyes, she noticed that Ginny had followed her, and was now sitting on the bed comforting her.

"Common Hermione, where did you get the injuries? Don't give me the 'I fell over' story. What, did someone hit you? Tell me". Hermione burst into tears, "Oh Gin, I can't tell you, he'll kill me, and Ron would dump me!". "No he won't" Ginny cooed "Just tell me what he did". Hermione contemplated if she should burden Ginny with her problems, and decided it was the right thing to do.

"He-he touched me Ginny, he stole my innocence" and with that, her brimming tears overflowed once again. "Who did this to you Hermione! Tell me so I can bash his head in, so Ron and Harry can bash his head in!". "Don't tell them Gin, please don't!" Hermione was frightened of what they would think. "How long has he been touching you?" Ginny asked softly. "About 2 months, every night". "That's it Hermione, I'm telling the boys!" And Ginny dashed down the stairs.

Ten minutes later, Ginny came up to Hermione's dorm and carried her downstairs were Harry and Ron were waiting, appalled looks on there faces. "Who? Who did this to you? Who's the bastard?" Ron shouted at her. Silent tears streamed down her face, "I can't tell you, he'll hurt me".

"Bloody hell Hermione, tell us NOW, so I can murder him!"

Harry screamed. Hermione just shook her head violently and dug her head into Ron shoulder to cry. Ron quickly wound his arms around her. "It's ok 'moine, we'll catch the bastard" but that just made Hermione cry more. That night, Ginny insisted that she sleep with Hermione, because she might have bad dreams, and she was right.

The next morning at Breakfast, Draco was looking again at Hermione, and noticed something different. She was crying, but not trying to hide the pain in her face from her friends. They must know! But since they weren't looking at him with hateful glares, or yelling at him, she must have not told them he was the culprit. She must have taken his threats seriously. Didn't she know he would never hurt her because he loved her? Did she not listen? But when he looked over at her once again, and saw the pain in her eyes, and the tears streaking her cheeks, he realized he already had, and at once, he darted to the bathroom to throw up at the thought of what he was doing to her.

Hermione saw that once again, Draco was looking at her, and that thought made her cry more. As she walked to her next class, she suddenly had the urge to throw up. She couldn't walk, her stomach hurt to much.

"Hermione? What's wrong hon?" Ron asked. "Nothing Ron, but I think I'm going to go to the Hospital Wing". Ron looked worried "I'll come". As Hermione and Ron walked to the Hospital Wing, Hermione had to run to the bathroom to throw up. As they reached the Hospital Wing, and Madame Pomfrey sat Hermione down on a bed and told her she would be back in a minute.

Madame Pomfrey ran some tests, and also tried to convince Ron to return to class, which he declined because he was worried about Hermione. "Honestly Ron, I'm fine, it's probably just a flu" but again Ron insisted on staying. A few minutes later, Madame Pomfrey came to Hermione's bed. "Ron dear, may I talk to you?". With a confused look on his face Ron followed the med witch outside the Hospital Wing. Minutes later, Ron stormed back into the Hospital Wing.

"NO! It can't be, there must be some mistake! She can't be!"

"Honestly Ron, be quiet. What are you screaming about?" Hermione asked, confused. Madame Pomfrey stepped into view, "Well Hermione, I ran some tests and…your…umm, with child.

Hermione didn't know what to say, she was shocked. "I don't want it, please, I don't want it!" Hermione couldn't deal with this. Madame Pomfrey looked confused, "Why on earth would you want that fate for your and Ron's child?" and with that, Hermione burst into tears. Ron turned to Madame Pomfrey "It isn't my child, Hermione was…raped". Madame Pomfrey gasped, which just made Hermione cry harder. "Well, I'm afraid there's no way to undo what's been done, but I will go get Professor Dumbledore" she said as she swept out of the room to fetch him.

"I'm sorry Hermione, but I had to tell her. I can't believe this has happened, but I'm not going anywhere Hermione, as far as I'm concerned, this baby is mine" Ron said as he hugged her. After what seemed like an eternity, Madame Pomfrey came through the door accompanied by Professor Dumbledore.

"Miss Granger, I've heard something very disturbing about you, and I would like to know if it's true. Please just nod or shake your head. Did someone rape you?". Hermione nodded, crying silently. Dumbledore nodded solemnly, "Can you please tell us who did this to you?". Hermione shook her head, and cried out because of her stomach pain. Several minutes later, Hermione and Ron exited the Wing, and headed to the Gryffindor common room, excused from all classes.

Later that night, Hermione was sitting with Ron, Harry and Ginny contemplating on how to tell Harry and Ginny she was pregnant. "Um, Harry, Ginny? I'm…I'm, pregnant". Harry and Ginny gasped.

"WHO DID THIS TO YOU?!" Harry, Ron and Ginny shouted in unison, but she still refused to say.

Early in the morning, Hermione arranged to meet with Draco Malfoy as he didn't know about the child, and she was planning revenge. As she waited in the hallway of their usual 'meetings' she contemplated what to say. As Malfoy showed up he saw her and said "Couldn't get enough eh Granger?". "You low, disgusting piece of shit, I'm pregnant asshole! You have RUINED me, and my life" and with that, she ran away, leaving Draco dazed and confused. Hermione ran all the way from the hallway to the common room, and darted upstairs, ignoring the protests of her friends.

Draco Malfoy walked very slowly to his dormitory thinking of what he had done. He had ruined her life, stolen her innocence. Her life will never be the same. Why couldn't he just turn back time, and stop himself. He knew she would never forgive him, which made the pain worse, then realized how much Hermione must be hurting right now. The pain was eating away at him slowly. The fact that she had taken his threat seriously and was still protecting him sickened him. He looked at himself in the mirror, and saw not Draco Malfoy, but his father and everything he stood for, something he never wanted to become.

He staring at himself in the mirror until his eyes became fogged and he could no longer see himself due to the darkness, he sat in his bed and tried to sleep. When that failed, he sat on him bed and imagined what it would have been like if he didn't rape Hermione, and they had gotten together, gotten married, had kids, and grew old together. He pictured sitting on a porch in a rocking chair, old and gray, beside Hermione taking in the scenery. As the fantasy faded away, he realized that a couple of months ago, his fantasies were a lot different than the one he was having now. He sat in bed, thinking, loathing himself, planning, deciding.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Hermione sat with her friends, talking. Well, they were still trying to get her to tell them who had raped her, but every time she would tell them no. There discussion turned to revenge. "Well Hermione, don't you want to get the bastard back for what he did?". Hermione thought, "Well, maybe, but I'm going to need some help" and wicked smiles appeared on their faces. There discussions usually turned to her rapist, usually using coarse language to describe him. Later that night as she was sitting in her bed, thinking of those dreadful nights as she often did, and wished that Malfoy could pay for what he did.

After sitting in his bed for what seemed like forever, but in reality was a couple of minutes, he made his decision. He quietly left his common room, and tried to think of where he should go, settling on the dreadful hallway that started it all. Being there again hurt him more that the thought of Hermione pregnant, even though the thought of Hermione pregnant with his baby made him more happy than it should have. Sitting on the floor, thinking of what to do next, settling on writing a note explaining his actions, and saying goodbye to all his loved ones.

He set the letter beside him, and with that, he started to cry. Cry out all the pain, all the hurt, all the loneliness left in the absence of his father, cried for his broken childhood, and what his father expected from him. When there were no tears left, stared out of the window, his final thoughts of Hermione, the love of his life, no matter how short that life may be. When the loathing finally started to eat away at his heart, and he could no longer think of her because of the absence of his so called black heart, he put his wand to his head, and said "Avada Kedavra", and finally the pain was gone.

"Hermione, Hermione!? Are you awake?" Ginny said shaking Hermione's shoulder trying to wake her. "Hermione, Draco Malfoy is dead, he committed suicide, but no one knows why. He left a note, but Dumbledore said no one can read it until he does. I wonder what it says". As Ginny left the room, the only thing on Hermione's mind was _I got what I wanted, he__'__s dead, the bastards dead. How come I feel no regret? The guilt was killing him, maybe now he knows how it feels. _Maybe now she could finally tell people it was him. Now she wanted nothing more that to rid herself of this baby. She didn't want to live her life with this constant reminder of those nights. Those thoughts accompanied her as she fell into the most peaceful sleep she'd had in months.

Professor McGonagall entered the Gryffindor common room and the room went silent, "I need to speak with Hermione Granger outside please". Hermione exited the common room with a confused look on her face. Professor McGonagall turned to her, "I'm sure you've heard that earlier this week, Mr. Malfoy committed suicide, and he left a note. Now, it said some things inside that were quite disturbing, including what he did to you. The letter is mostly addressed to you, so we thought you should have it". Hermione took the letter, and walked back into the common room, stunned.

"What was that about Hermione?" Harry asked. Hermione didn't respond, but guided her friends to a quiet room. "I am about to tell you know raped me" her friends were listening hard, "Draco Malfoy was waiting for me one night when I was walking back from the Library. After trying to get away from him, he started to kiss me, and then threw me against the wall. When I came to, he was telling me how he liked he, but nothing could happen because of his status, and well, you know the rest. Now all I want is to not have this baby, and have a constant reminder of those dreadful nights".

**Five years later**

Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley were abruptly woken up in the morning by a little blonde toddler. "Noah, stop, were trying to sleep hon" Ron said. "Mommy, Daddy, get up silly, time to get up". Finally, giving up, Hermione and Ron got up. Hermione still couldn't believe Ron had proposed just last night. It made her so happy. As Ron went into the kitchen, Hermione reached under her mattress and pulled out the worn letter addressed to her from Malfoy. She had never open it, but thought about it many times. She decided now that she should finally read it so she could let go and get on with her life. It said:

_Dear Hermione,_

_You must know that this decision to end my life is not very recent. I have thought about it everyday since the first night I raped you. I don__'__t know what came over me Hermione, I couldn__'__t help myself but to do it, and know I find out that you are carrying my child, and even though I love the idea of us having a kid, it hurts me that you want to kill it. I have ruined you, you are right, and I cannot live with the guilt that is slowly eating me up. I know you think I did this because I thought you were beneath me, but in reality, I was being an idiot. I was beginning to fall for you, but at the time, I thought it was only lust. I thought that raping you would make the feeling inside of me go away, but it only made it stronger, which is why I continued to rape you, because I was diluting myself into thinking it was only lust. I wish I could take it back. I would like you to know that my last thoughts were of you, and you will always own my heart even after it ceases to beat._

_Love, _

_Draco Malfoy_

As Hermione read the letter she felt a little bit of regret for this loss of life. She could finally let go of the past, and heal.


	4. AN

I would just like to state for the record, that I am not anti-abortion. I'm not trying to bash the choice women make. Just saying. I'm pro choice.


End file.
